The Breakspark
by Dramashark
Summary: Nida is a flight-school failure with serious apathy issues. What will it take for him to kick the habit and finally make something of his life? A lot more than you'd expect. WIP, mild AU, possible char death.
1. I indifference

SUMMARY: Nida is a flight-school failure with serious apathy issues. What will it take for him to kick the habit and finally make something of his life? A lot more than you'd expect. WIP, mild AU, possible char death.

Twist of Fate -- Now **The Breakspark**

Chapter I - Indifference

Disclaimer: Pfft, come on. You know I don't own this, dude.

A/N: It's been a long haul, guys, but I've decided to run these over with some mad editing skills. I realize now that the way I was writing was not only n00bish, but littered with chatspeak, immaturity, and a strange Mary-Sue-like deity in the form of me as "Trowa".

I will admit I got good reviews -- many good reviews, at that -- but ... I can't keep this the way it was with a clear conscience.

Trowa will now take the form of the pilot Nida, and hopefully with him I can grasp some semblance of a plot.

I'd like to thank anyone who reviewed The Breakspark in its past form, and anyone who plans to review this. I love y'all. D

Warnings: Pfft.

Rating: PG-13

Ships: Pfft. All right, maybe Nida/Seifer later on, because I can. But this isn't about the pairings. P

Other: V_ery_ slight AU. Begins before-game. Slightly difficult to catch on to, but once you've got it, it's hella good.

Trust me.

commence&chapterone

It could have been.

Rain lashed at the roof of building number 515, Samahain Parkway. A plump woman of obvious Italian descent was standing by the window wearing a somber expression, one hand holding back the curtains as her worried eyes scanned the dark street for any sign of Nida.

He should have been back by now, she thought, trying to mask her uncertainty with irritation. He was always late for things -- not that it was his fault, of course. He just had natural bad luck sometimes, just some inescapable thing that seemed to follow him everywhere like a dark cloud and express itself in everything he did, no matter how hard he tried. And now -- pilot training. The one last unachievable goal, perhaps? Or maybe the one thing he could finally excel in, showing some strange burst of natural talent and ability? It was highly unlikely, but he was her son, so she had to support him. What else could she do? What else had she ever done?

An abrupt knock on the door made her mind click out of its reverie. She quickly closed the curtains and bustled noisly across the smooth wooden floor, hastening to undo the chain-lock and open the door.

_"I failed, you know. _The calm voice. It was expected. Not resentment, fury, sadness, dissappointment. Just calm, the sort of eerie dead calm that you have when you know all along that something horrible's going to happen -- and sure enough, it happens -- and you just can't bring yourself to care anymore. Indifferent calm.

A slender man was standing in the doorway, completely drenched. His damp chesnut-brown hair was weighted down and obscured his eyes, which were looking toward the ground, though you could somehow still see the disdain in the way he was standing, and the way he was holding a rolled-up bunch of paper in his right hand with a sort of suppressed anger, as if everything bad that had happened in his life was the fault of that one piece of paper, and he couldn't bring himself to do anything about it yet. And that might have been the case.

The woman frowned and closed the door behind him as he walked in -- only a few steps. He was having self-pity. Self-pity wasn't allowed. "You'll be fine. It was just the test jitters - I know you've got a knack for flying, I saw you out on Brenson's land last week. You were brilliant, Nida --"

Nida looked up and glared at his mother. A sharp glare, not angry, but stony. The look you give when you want people to shut up.

"It doesn't matter, mom. Nothing matters." He reluctantly dropped the paper he was holding, and it landed on the linoleum with a soft wet splash. Neither of them heard it. It wasn't an important sound.

She felt a slight twinge of anger. _He's giving up already? I didn't raise any quitters._

Nida hadn't planned on giving her a chance to respond. He'd spent two hours in the rain practicing what he was going to say, loitering outside of the hangar after he'd failed the written test, trying and failing to light a cigarette, and the irony had struck him. The irony that at eighteen, he was delaying going home like a scared little kid, thinking up excuses for his failure. But he'd pushed it away. There wasn't any guilt in not wanting to do this anymore. He wasn't getting anywhere with this, and he had to admit to himself that he never would.

"I'm not doing it anymore."

He was staring at the ground again -- a bad habit. He ran his fingers through his hair without a hint of nervousness and looked back up at his mother. His emerald-green eyes showed no hint of rebellion. No defiance. Just indifference. She would see this.

Nida's mother hadn't expected this. "Not doing what anymore?" she asked cautiously after a few seconds.

"You know what. I'm done. I'm tired of failing."

The lead instructor had approached him in the back of the hangar after the exam, before it had started raining and before Nida had started trying to light cigarettes. The words had been swirling around in Nida's head ever since: _You're not a failure, Nida. There's something there, though. Something I don't get about you. Quiet, unassuming determination. You're good when you're on form, and there's nobody watching you. Not good. Genius. Best I've seen in my days. But when you've got to prove it, when it comes time to prove yourself to yourself and us, there's a wall. A barrier. You've got to break this, kid. You're brilliant. I know you can break this._

He hadn't cared. He hadn't been listening when the instructor had told him that he could come back any time, that he could still try again sometime, anytime.

His mother seemed to be in shock, and was certainly talking less than normal. Taking advantage of her silence, Nida slipped off his sneakers and padded his way up the carpeted staircase in his socks, still trailing behind the watery remains of the storm still raging outside. After a few seconds, Nida's mother recovered from her shock and ran after Nida, yelling, "But you passed the practical!"

Nida ignored the hufffing woman next to her, slid open the wooden doors to the linen closet and browsed through the range of towel colors carefully. After selecting a navy one with a fading white monogram, he quietly turned to his mother. "That wasn't the practical, it was the free-form. It didn't count towards my grade."

"But you passed it, didn't you? You did it, I've seen you do it!" She closed the linen closet doors and pulled the towel out of Nida's hands, forcing him to sweep his hair back yet again and look at her, this time slightly annoyed. He began walking into his room, muttering under his breath. "Yeah. I did the free-form, and he said I was off the charts. But that's all, you know? I'm not on the charts now. Maybe I'll just... I dunno. Don't wake me up tomorrow."

It was a mark of how desperate he was that he had forgotten the speech he had planned.

Nida shut the door behind him with one hand, submerging himself in total darkness. He stood and leaned against the door for a moment, still soaking wet and staring directly at the dark-curtained window across the room, listening to the rainstorm still raging outside.

The same rainstorm he had been seeing for ten years.

cease&chapterone

A/N: It's sad to say that I really don't know where I'm going with this. sob I started it literally in the middle of the night on a whim, and finished a couple more paragraphs in the morning. I like where it's going, but at the same time I want to know what the hell I'm doing. It's like being in a car racing down the countryside, and you love the feel of going so fast, and the view of the countryside around you, but at the same time, you can't help but wondering what's going to happen when the car stops.

Looking back, I see that my writing style has changed soooo much. I kind of miss it, being able to write randomly like that. But at the same time, I love the way I write now. I just wish that when I start things like this, I'd think of an ending before I get too far in.

On the plus side, this means you guys can't weasel any details out of me before I'm ready to surrender them. I know as much as you do! Well, maybe more than that. Did anyone catch the hint in the last sentence of that chapter? There's going to be backstory, believe you me. And no, it's not about a rainstorm that's been going on constantly for ten years. It's like a metaphor, capiche? Because that'd be one hell of a lot of flooding if it wasn't.

These author's notes are getting quite long. I haven't typed this fast since National Novel Writing Month, and it feels good to get back in the writing thingy again, even if (as aforementioned) I don't have a clue what I'm doing. Any comments or **constructive **critiscism on this chapter would be more welcome than cold glass of lemonade in the summertime -- even though it's probably like ten degrees where you are unless you live in Florida or something. 8) Mmm, Florida ..

Anyway! Read! Review! Kick me for writing so much when I'm supposed to be doing my _ess ay tees_ YES MOM I'M COMING I KNOW I KNOW --

tbc


	2. II reclaiming

The Breakspark

Chapter II - Reclaiming

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VIII and all characters herin belong to Squaresoft-Enix. Except for Nida's mom, though. SHE BELONGS TO ME. And the street doesn't exist, so far as I know. P

A/N: Still don't know where this is headed and hoping it's not going to sail off a cliff. If you're seeing this, it means I got three reviews, because I'm writing this Author's Note before I even upload the first chapter. Strange, ain't it?

commence&chaptertwo

It was one A.M. Nida could sense this before he had even opened his eyes, before he was even fully concious. A side-effect from years of waking up for deadlines, he could always sense in the air what was happening, and wake up at certain cues. It was an annoying habit, but nevertheless useful. But there was something else in the air this morning, and he was determined to find out what it was before he turned over and woke up fully. Food? No, it wasn't food. Nida had asked his mother not to wake him up in the morning and he knew she would respect that, but there was someone _there_. He held his breath for a moment and heard another pair of lungs working. Left? Right? Behind him - watching him.

He knew those breaths, somehow. The hours he had spent carefully watching, carefully paying absolute attention to everything and everyone around him. The constant high alert, brought on by who-knows-what. He let himself start breathing again and began to run the sound through his memory, but before he could think of anything - he heard a chain rustle. The sound of expensive metal clinking against expensive metal -- and a sigh. Not a peaceful, contented sigh. An low, impatient, almost angry sigh. Someone who wanted him to wake up but was either too polite to do so, or was waiting for him to be shocked when he woke up. Who would he be shocked to see at this moment? The expensive metal, the tempered but oh-so-impatient sigh that lasted _quite_ a few seconds, and showed hints of -- self-confidence? Assertion? _Overbearingly annoying and cocky egotistical I'm-greater-than-you attitude?_

"Almasy?"

"What the hell? How long have you been awake for, you incompetent freak? I've been standing here three hours waiting for you." He pushed down the corner with one of Nida's bed with one foot, making Nida slide out due to gravity. Nida rolled onto his back and looked groggily up at Seifer Almasy, who smirked and prodded Nida with his boot. From the ground, Seifer looked massive, dominant, and somehow exuded an air of extreme importance that made Nida feel more insignificant than usual.

Nida slowly picked himself off of the floor and sat down on the edge of the bed, ignoring Seifer's persistent _you-owe-me-a-response_ look. "What're you doing in my room?"

"As if you don't know." He grinned an evil little grin, pulling up a small desk chair and sitting on it backwards so that his arms were perched atop the back of it. "Let me refresh your memory - two years ago, Hannushai fish market, you somehow get stuck in the gutter of doom. I rescue your pathetic hide, and I quote, '_I owe you one, Almasy'._ Two years ago, and now here I am. Failed flight school, heh?"

He frowned at Seifer's knowing glare. "The test results won't even be posted until tomorrow. How'd you find out?"

"Pfft, you have no subtlety. It was simple deduction - you're still moping around your mom's house, instead of out partying or doing whatever you miserable failures do when you think you're finally getting somewhere. And I know I'm right," he added, seeing the look on Nida's face. "I'm not here to bitch at you for not making it. That ain't my job. I'm just here for one litte thing."

Nida raised an eyebrow in suspicion. "What is it?"

Seifer anchored his gunblade into the floor.

"You're going to be a mercenary." The words hit the air like a ton of bricks and floated listlessly across the silent room. Thoughts whirred like helicopter blades through Nida's head - but only one managed to make it to the surface -

"I'm going to kill people for money? That's not a small request. That's a bomb. I don't kill people."

"It's not your choice. It's your father's, and Garden's, and mine. And maybe I should've been more specific - you're going to be a pilot. _The_ pilot. You're going to fly Balamb Garden."

"My father's dead, Almasy, and you're a lunatic," said Nida tonelessly. He got up from the bed and walked over to the door, opening and pointing out. "I don't know how you got in here, and what kind of sick joke this is, but I'm not playing along." He sighed again and shook his head. "I'm not explaining this to everyone, so pass it along. _I'm done._ I can't be a pilot, and I'm tired of trying because I never know anything except that I'm going to _fail_. I'm not going to keep doing it. I can't."

Seifer stood up and pushed the chair back to Nida's desk, looking penseive. He had expected Nida to come willingly, relieved, to be glad for a chance to do something. Two years ago, he would have been positively delighted for the chance to even _attempt_ to pilot Garden. But now he was assured that no matter what, he couldn't do anything. Seifer wondered how Nida could have changed so much -- and then, just as quickly, he decided that he was going to have to bring out the big guns.

Nida watched, slightly curious, as Seifer rummaged in the pockets of his trenchcoat and pulled out a tiny, faded little piece of paper, cleared his throat, and began to read aloud.

_"Blah blah blah blah, I, Luciano Ciancetti, do hereby instill that my son, Nida Alfonso Ciancetti, must be entered into a Garden of his choice if he should not have found a career before the age of eighteen. And he must buy Sir Seifer Ciaran Almasy a strawberry milkshake._ You've been in pilot training since you were 17, haven't you? Well, you're coming with me to Balamb. That's the favor I'm asking, since there's no 'do not combine with any other offers' warning on this." He waved the paper in the air smugly in front of Nida, who grabbed it and read it so quickly that his eyes appeared blurred.

"Why didn't anyone ever tell me about this?" asked Nida, looking distraught. "And more importantly, _why_ do you want me to come with _you_? And how'd you get this? And your middle name's _Ciaran_? And --" He stopped abruptly, realizing Seifer was grinning madly at him, which annoyed Nida greatly. "What? What's so funny?"

"Take your downers, jumpy. Didn't anyone ever teach you to ask one question at a time?" His words weren't exactly nice, but Nida could tell that Seifer was amused anyway. "Look, I got it from your mom. I take it she never told you because she didn't want you to have to leave for Garden. Yes, my middle name is Ciaran, it is Irish, get over it or so help me Hyne **I will hurt you.** And ..." Seifer trailed off for a second, looking thoughtful again. "I don't know why I _want_ you to come with me. I hate you. Of course, I hate everyone, but you less than most. Plus, I saw that impressive free-form you did" -- Nida squeaked in complaint about how so many people having seen his free-form, but Seifer plowed on -- "and you know, you'd be pretty good at tactical evasion. Plus, Cid liked it, too," he added, making Nida twitch.

"...Do I still have to buy you that milkshake?"

"Yes you do, chicken-hawk. Yes you do."

cease&chaptertwo


	3. III questioning minichapter

Disclaimer: Eyeee don't ownnnn eeeet.

A/N: o.o........ a minichapter.

commenceminichapter

"So why're you really doing this, Almasy?" A quick glance at the clock. One-thirty-six. Nida could never tell with the minutes. Minutes were too volatile, they passed too quickly in sleep to be considered.

Seifer grinned, as if he'd suddenly had the thought that Nida had a short attention span and forgotten everything he'd just heard.

"I told you already, hawk. You ask too many damn questions."

"Yeah ... but this Garden. Why? Couldn't you have just told me --"

"No." Finality. Seifer liked finality. Finality was short and absolute, with no questioning, add-ons, or chance for rebuttal. Finality also negated itself in the strangest way possible - because there never was any _true_ end to anything, or any way to know how far into infinity you could go rejecting it.

"You're hiding something."

"No."

"It's a trap."

"No."

Nida had known Seifer since he was fifteen as anything but trustworthy. He was as erratic as the ocean weather, but at the same time more stable then gravity and solid ground when need be. Seifer was one of those people you couldn't describe without contradicting yourself in the same sentence, and he liked it that way.

"Getting revenge by giving me public embarrassment."

"No."

"A twisted plot to make me turn into some kind of depressed hermit crab."

Seifer didn't look like he was paying attention anymore and responded with a sigh and another out-and-out "No." Nida decided to take advantage of Seifer's obvious inattention. "You like girls."

"No."

"Thought so."

"I mean -- what? What the _hell_, chicken-hawk? You can't just pull complete one-eighties on people like that." Seifer reached to hit Nida with the hilt of Hyperion, who calmly dodged the blow with an uncharacteristically smug look on his face.

"Stop calling me chicken-hawk, Almasy."

"Stop calling me Almasy, chicken-hawk."

"...Fine."

A resolute look. "Good emo kid. Now, how about that milkshake?"

ceaseminichapter

A/N: Nida came off very ... emo ... in the way I wrote him for the first two chapters, so I decided to attempt to lighten things up.

Please let me know if this was a bad idea ... or if it doesn't seem to fit at all, really, because I think it doesn't, and this was supposed to be angsty, but I can't write angst when I'm happy, because, well, yeah. cough REVIEW IF YOU WANT THE NEXT CHAPTER PH00L.


	4. IV aisle

A/N: It's chapter four already! I am writing these far faster then I think I have ever wanted to. D Curse NaNoWriMo! CURSE IT! Also, for some reason, I keep writing humor into it. It's SUPPOSED TO BE ANGSTY DARN IT. ANGSTYYY. Why can't I continue angst for more than one chapter? Sigh. Er ... anyway.

Much Cofftea and Muffcakes to InsanityCreator, my first reviewer. I love you so much. D Seriously, it's a great feeling knowing people are actually reading this. If you've read this, pleeeeeeeeeease review. I'll love you forever. Seriously. I may even make you stuff. Is it called a kiriban or something? Yeah, something like that.  
I'll write now. oo

commencechapterfour

_Ding! Whirr ... click ..._

Seifer sighed as he followed a slightly preoccupied Nida through the chilly supermarket. He hated supermarkets for reasons he couldn't even explain to himself, not even in that odd way that always seems to sound better in your head, but when you say it out loud, you sound like a complete idiot. It was just one of those _things_, and that's how he explained it to everyone, and when he had stopped to think about it a while ago, he had realized that even if he _did_ know, he probably wouldn't tell anyone anyway.

He was also right in assuming that Nida was having one of those inexplicable _things_, and he didn't mind this so much, but he wished sometimes he'd at least be _told_ things before he was led across the largest store in a thousand-mile radius for _five hours_ while he was wearing quite possibly the most uncomfortable metal shoes in the world. Life was harsh. Then again, he was the one who dragged Nida away in the first place, so maybe this was some sort of bizarre payback? He didn't think so, somehow.

"So, when can we..." Seifer stopped, realizing Nida wasn't anywhere near him and that he'd been standing in the same place for ten minutes thinking about all of this, and he rushed after Nida, finding him in the cold medicine aisle. Nida rolled his eyes and ignored Seifer, a gesture that made him look almost Squall-esque.

"Sorry, ADD moment. What're we doing again?

Nida picked up a bottle of _Robitussin_ and dangled it, his back still to Seifer, who was getting vaguely annoyed at having to do all the talking. _Not_ that having him continously asking questions left and right was any better, he reminded himself. Nida could be such a curious little biznatch.

"You got a cold or something? Man, you've got to learn that Cure still works for that kind of stuff." Seifer sighed. He didn't like trying to interpret silence.

"Er," began Nida awkwardly, turning to face the other man. "Not exactly. I kind of just use it..." Nida lowered his voice conspirationally, so Seifer had to lean in slightly to hear him. "... for the _trip_."

Seifer jumped backward slightly, a disgusted expression playing across his face. _For the trip?_ He knew Nida was a smoker, and therefore slightly screwed in the head, but he hadn't been expecting this. He had opened his mouth, fully intending to tell Nida off and give him a lecture on how drugs are bad - "_No, man, just no,_"-; and he reached over and grabbed the cough syrup from Nida's hands, thinking about giving him a good hard boot in the posterior, and had he left it at that, it might have been better. But curiosity has a way of destroying good intentions, and after a moment -

"...You can go tripping on cough syrup?"

"Uh, yeah." Nida looked uncomfortable again, like he'd just been caught doing something bad and wanted to run for his life out of the store.

"Oh, geez. Just when I think I've seen everything. Look, just lay off. Any other bad habits I should know about?"

"I - er - take pills for depression, too, but I don't see how -"

"And?"

"... When I'm not taking the pills, some people say I get kind of homicidal." Nida had no idea why he was telling Seifer this.

"Hyne. Any good news?"

"Of course. I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico." Nida grabbed the cough syrup out of Seifer's hands and shot him an apologetic look, hoping Seifer would just read his mind so he wouldn't have to say it aloud. _I know you were trying to give me a chance. I'm sorry for making this harder for you. But I **did** warn you._ He frowned at Seifer's obvious annoyance. "Look, I know I'm not the sanest person in the world, but -"

Seifer snorted. "It's not _that._ I just can't believe you'd have to throw in the damn Geico joke. I mean, it's so cliche. Everyone's done it a billion times already."

There was a good four seconds of reflection before what Seifer had just said was processed through Nida's mind - and once he'd realized that Seifer wasn't angry at him, he laughed aloud with relief. Seifer gave him a bewildered look. _This kid's nuts._

"What? What's ... funny?" added Seifer uncertainly, staying a careful distance away from Nida, lest he catch his insanity.

"N-nothing," Nida said, recovering himself and following Seifer. "Hey, don't stay away from me like that. It's not catching," he added, noting the look on Seifer's face.

"Yes, it is," said Seifer stubbornly. "It is a disease, just like your _gayness,_ and if I catch it, I shall never forgive you."

"You're right," sighed Nida acknowledgably. "It is a disease. I contracted homosexuality when a gay man sneezed on me. Woe."

The stony silence lasted about one whole second before both men burst out into tears of laughter. Anyone who might have walked into the situation would have been amused and very, very afraid.

After about five minutes of hilarity, in which the pharmacist cast several perplexed glances down the cold medicine aisle, Nida recovered first. "Man, I thought you'd stopped with the gay jokes when we were like ... twelve," he said, scratching the back of his head. "You never change, you freak."

"Oh, psh. Don't give me that. Everyone loves a good gay joke." Seifer grinned innocently, dodging out of the way when Nida attempted to slug him over the head with the bottle of cough syrup.

"And you thought I was being cliche for mentioning Geico! Hypocrite."

"So you believe me, then?" added Seifer smugly.

"Hmph." Nida crossed his arms in mock-exasperation. "I highly doubt _that_, seeing that _you're_ the one still paying too much for car insurance."

"Oh, bugger off."

Nida waved in imaginary piece of paper in front of Squall. "I will as soon as you buy the insurance."

Seifer quickly squelched the thought that _Aflac_ was 'the insurance'. "That contract is the _devil's_ contract! As soon as I sign that, you'll be shipping stuffed geckos to my door left and right!"

The sound of someone clearing their throat behind them made them both turn around. A couple of timid-looking store employees were hovering behind one of the managers-on-duty, easily recognizable by his maroon vest with a gigantic moogle on the back. Nida inadvertently forgot what he was about to say and decided to stay quiet, something Seifer was very grateful for.

"One of my _subordinates_"-; Seifer was suddenly struck by how eerie 'subordinates' sounded in this situation - "heard you laughing a couple of aisles down. Is there anything we can help you with?"

"Er," began Nida knowledgeably, looking for all the world like he wanted to just hide behind Seifer and dissolve into a blob of nothingess. Seifer wanted to hit him, but thinking that not the best idea in this circumstance, decided to just finish Nida's pathetic start at a sentence for him.

"We were buying some cough syrup."

The store manager's suspicious glare lingered. "I see."

"And then he mentioned Geico," continued Seifer. "And you know how cliche Geico is."

"Mm."

"And -" Seifer paused for a moment, feeling Nida attempt to slip inconspicuously behind him and whisper something in his ear. _"He's going to kill us. We should run."_

Seifer twitched uneasily. They hadn't done anything wrong, and he was certainly not going to chicken out and run because some store manager guy person in a stupid-looking maroon shirt was glaring at him. "We're going to go and pay for this now," he said in a loud voice, holding up the cough syrup. The store manager took a step toward him.

They ran.

cease&chapterfour

A/N: I like this chapter. A lot. XD The freaky Seifer & Nida bonding AMUSES ME. Though, it didn't turn out exactly the way I expected (again). Is it just me, or does my writing style seem to differ a _lot_ from the writing style in the first chapter?

If anyone has any questions about this or any other **previous** chapter, just ask in your review and I'll answer in the beginning AN of the next chapter coming up, savvy? nn


	5. V insurance minichapter

Disclaimer: Hee, Disclaimer is the name of a Seether album 3

Chapter Summary: Seifer and Nida reach Garden. (Finally.) OOC and vague descriptions out of the wazoo.

A/N: The language in this is getting steadily worse as the story progresses. :x I apologise so much for this. I dunno if swearing's worthy of an R rating, because it is in the movies, so I'm at odds here.

Err. On a completely unrelated topic, has anyone seen Boondock Saints?

OH OH OH AND

I'm going to try and figure out how to change what category the story's under. I think it's turning into humor/angst, and this makes me want to commit proverbial hari-kari.

commencechapterfive

"But that's not answering my question. Why does he want to kill you"

"Because he hates me."

"And why does he hate you"

"Because I hate him."

"Well why do you hate him"

"Because he wants to kill me. Stop asking me fuckassed questions, Almasy."

Seifer sighed and haphazardly kicked a small rock in Nida's direction. Nida, having less than zero faith in Seifer's aiming skills, ignored it, keeping his eyes set on the looming figure in the distance. They were taking the footpath to Balamb Garden after having narrowly escaped from the evil store of impending Doom (Seifer's analogy), and Nida was decidedly annoyed that Seifer was too cheap to rent a car. Seifer, on the other hand, had argued that the walk wasn't long enough for it to be economical to take a car, that they'd have to go back later to return it which would cause _another_ walk back to Garden, and most of the rental cars had lousy brake systems anyway. Nida, having automatically lost the argument, kept quiet until Seifer started questioning him about why the creepy store manager wanted to kill them.

Dropping all pretense, Nida interrupted Seifer's thoughts by clinging to the arm of his trenchcoat and whining annoyingly"Are we _there_ yet"

"Why am I not surprised..." Seifer yawned and flailed his arm wildly, attempting to shake Nida off. It was an entirely unsucsessful endeavor; he stuck like crazy glue.

"Are we _there yet?_" He was clinging even tighter, and Seifer feared for his circulation.

Seifer swung his head around to face Nida with a leer. "Does it look like we're there yet, freak"

"Sob. You scare me." Nida cowered and released Seifer, who scowled and rubbed his arm, trying to get the blood flowing normally again. Nida seemed entirely unconcerned about the other man's blood distribution problems and continued walking, facing Seifer with a mournful look and generally not watching where he was going.

As was to be expected, he slammed into Balamb's left electric gate thirty seconds later. It hurt. It hurt like your toungue would hurt after you accidentally stapled it to the wall. Thankfully for Nida, his pain-induced vocabulary was limited to one word.

"Ow."

Ignoring Nida, which seemed to be the cool thing to do nowadays, Seifer waved to a stereotypical middle-aged-and-balding man less than ten feet away, who appeared to be waiting for someone. Seeing the wave, the man hurried away from the electric gating field and over to Seifer.

"There you are, I've been waiting since yesterday! I see you still have no sense of time" he added, talking very quickly.

"You waited outside here in the rain, Headmaster" questioned Seifer, looking bemused. Nida, who had just recovered from the shock of slamming into a electrical field range, cast an annoyed look up at the other two. Headmaster Cid, who seemed to have just noticed Nida lying on the ground twitching, poked him with a boot.

"Better be careful, now! We haven't got that insurance anymore" said Cid jovially.

"What insurance" groaned Nida, rubbing the back of his head and getting up shakily. His feet didn't seem to want to agree on which way was front, and after a couple of failed attempts to stand upright he let himself fall back onto the smooth pavement.

The headmaster looked at Nida as if he was mad, not seeming to notice that he might have been suffering the after-effects of high-voltage electricity. "It's the one you need. Cause if you don't have it, that's why you need it."

Seifer looked like he was having a sudden brain wave, and he interrupted Cid. "So if you get hurt and miss work"

"It won't hurt, to miss work" continued Cid, looking excited.

"And they give you cash, which is just as good as money." The whole scene had an

eerie, surreal quality to Nida, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30. "What"

"_Aflac_" said Seifer and Cid in emphatic unison, nodding in a solemn sort of way.

Nida looked helplessly up at Seifer. "Can we fade to black"

"Yes. Fuck yes, I do believe we can."

A/N: Let's just consider the next chapter one week ahead of this, okay The next one is BETTER, I promise! Yeah ... I have it written already, I'm just not giving it to you yet. If you want it, review and tell me whether or not you've watched Boondock Saints. DO IT DARN YEW.


	6. VI the call

Disclaimer: Anyone who thinks I own this is a fucking MORON KPLZ.

Chapter Summary: Nida needs to make a call.

A/N: Eh. There was another note here, but I erased it after I finished and edited the chapter. I don't like the way this turned out at all, but I also HATE HATE HATE editing so much. So much, man. Things I need to work on: Characterization, not quoting insurance commercials, and being able to set a mood for the story. Oh, and descriptions. And opening lines. And not procrastinating. And fixing tenses. And content in general. Okay, I'll shut up now.

I want tips for improving on this chapter PLEEZE. If you found something in it that seems off somehow, let me know. I like this chapter, I like the idea of what I wanted to write and the original theory of what I was going to do with this, but I _dislike_ the way I wrote it. Urgh.

And now I begin this with the word of the month: FIGHT. 

commencechaptersix

Nida's legs were dangling off the side of the bed, and he was contemplating. Contemplating while staring into the darkness, because it's what he seemed to be doing so often, and it was good for thought provoking. Silent, calm, no interruptions or distractions. He knew what he need to do - _or did he- _and he couldn't keep avoiding it. He just needed to -

- the phone. Of course. Nida had Seifer on quick-dial. It was odd.

_Ring ... ring ..._

_Click_. Just calm breathing. Seifer was waiting for whoever it was that was calling to say something first, and Nida wondered if he always did this, but it wasn't worth thinking about for too long. He told himself to start talking.

"Are you awake"

"Obviously I am, or I would not be answering this call."

He should've thought of an excuse before he called. "Um. Sorry. I ... can't sleep."

"Fuck, Nida, it's ... shit ...nine at night, and you do realize we've got our midnight field training in less than two hours"

"Sorry."

_Sigh. _Nida wondered why Seifer did this so much. "What do you want me to do, chicken-hawk? Sing you a lullaby"

"That'd be nice. I didn't know you could sing." He wasn't trying to be sarcastic, he just didn't know. But he did know that Seifer would decline anyway, because that was the way Seifer was. Nida idly wrapped the phone cord around his finger and stared into the dim green glow of the numbers on his alarm clock.

"I'm not kidding, you little shit. What do you really want" Seifer sat up in his bed and stared at the wceiling with a slight pang of annoyance.

_Like I could tell you what I really wanted._ "I just want to talk, Almasy."

_Might as well just get over with it,_ Seifer thought. _He won't call me every night, so I'll just keep talking._ He had no idea. "So what happened? Girlfriend broke up with you? Getting cold feet about the mission? Teen angst"

"There is a cat sitting on my foot." It was true. Nida like cats; they were dark and mysterious, yet straightfoward. He wouldn't have been surprised if he had been told cats knew the secrets of the universe. It was probably true anyway.

"Please, just kill me now."

"Okay." It wasn't an agreeing sort of 'okay', more resigned and anxious. "I just wanted ... "

He was impatient. He couldn't help it; he just didn't like waiting. "Yes? Just wanted"

"I just wanted to hear your voice."

Seifer held the phone at arms' length and banged his head against the wall.

"Look, I'm not kidding. Don't go all suicidal on me now, please."

"You just wanted to hear me." It was a flat, deadpan voice, that suited Seifer in this occasion and many, many others.

"Er, well ... yeah. Is that bad"

"Yes, it bloody well is! We have a very very important training mission coming up VERY soon in which I do not plan to sleep through and you call me up out of nowhere saying you just wanted to hear my voice and I'd be very complimented in any other situation really but _you just seemed to be turning queerer by the second_ and I'm beginning to be very, very afraid."

"You just used 'very' six times in one sentence."

"Nida."

"Which, I may add, was a _very_ long sentence."

"_Nida."_

"Somewhere, an English teacher is weeping..."

"Good_bye_, Nida."

"No - wait. I, um, there's something else" Nida added hastily, trying to delay the conversation as much as possible. Seifer, who had been about to put the phone back down and settle back into bed comfortably, gave one of those _argh-I-can't-believe-it's-morning-and-I-have-to-get-out-of-bed-now_ groans of sitting-up-and-streching goodness. "Yeah"

"...First, never make that sound again."

"What" Seifer gave a deep, low moan. "That sound"

"I am going to kill you if you don't stop doing that." He meant that he was going to try, but get pwned and beg for forgiveness.

"Nnnnngh ... Nida ... unngod ... ... What, that"

"Oi. I, um, shit."

Nida hung up his end of the phone quickly, leaving a very amused Seifer listening to the dull dialtone on the other end. And aside from being amused, he was also thinking far more than was necessary for nine-thirty at night.

_Well, either he's gone to find a gun so he can shoot me in my sleep, which I wouldn't doubt ... or ... heh, maybe I'll just go and find him first. Where's my keycard? ... there, got it. Now, where's his keycard? I know I've got a spare - aha. _

Seifer threw on his trenchcoat, grabbed the two keycards and hurried out of his dormitory room, sliding across the freshly waxed hallway floors in his socks, boxers, and coat. He wondered to himself how odd this would look from an outsider's point off view - very odd indeed, he answered himself. Carrying around another cadet's keycard with an intent to sneak into his dormitory room in the middle of the night wasn't exactly something you did.

Thankfully for him, he knew exactly where Nida's room was - curse him for reading the full Garden map when he was bored - and made it there within minutes. Grinning devilishly, he moved the blue keycard through the slider slowly - the door responded with a dim beep, and he gave the handlebar an experimental twist - _Pwned._

_Revenge is fun. Fun, fun, fun ... This'll teach him to ALMOST GET ME FUCKING KILLED in a fucking supermarket._

"So, Nida. I still don't understand what it was you wanted me to stop. Care to explain"

Nida froze, horrified. _He wasn't - he couldn't - he isn't - he wouldn't - he won't - he can't -_ But his steady stream of disaffirming thoughts was interrupted by a low, seductive purr from Seifer - who Nida couldn't see, but knew was merely a few feet away. He gulped.

"Was it like that? Or more like ... unnnnnnngh. That's what it was, wasn't it? Or was it ... ohhhhhh." Seifer moved across the room as he spoke - one of his legs hit the edge of Nida's bed, and he grinned, beginning to climb onto it.

"Nidaaaaa ... why are you so quiet, hmm" Seifer's voice was softer now, and maybe more serious than amused - though you could never really tell. "I thought you liked hearing me." He climbed directly over Nida ; held up by his hands, which were by Nida's shoulders, and his lower legs, which were held apart enough so that Nida's legs could fit between them. Nida seemed thoroughly uncomfortable.

"_Seifer,_" said Nida emphatically, and neither of them noticed that he had started calling him Seifer instead of Almasy.

He didn't move an inch. "Anything wrong"

"Seifer" Nida began again, although this time it came out as more of a quiet moan instead of an order. "Get the fuck _off of me. _ Please."

"And why would I want to do that" murmured Seifer, lowering himself down to Nida slowly. _Blackmail, blackmail, blackmail!_ yelled his mind joyously. But Nida's mind was yelling something completely different.

With one quick motion, Nida thrust himself upward toward Seifer and flipped him down onto the bed, pinning down his wrists with his hands. Before he could even think about it -_ was there **anything** he thought before doing anymore? Probably not_ - Nida's mouth was pressed against Seifer's, and his hands were lustily exploring Seifer's warm chest from underneath his shirt.

Which wasn't really what Seifer had planned. At all. He kicked Nida off of him and onto the floor.

"What the hell d'you think you're doing"

Nida watched helplessly from the floor as Seifer got up and stood over him, looking annoyed and disgusted. "I - I - well - I - um - I thought - I - well - thought you were - because - you know "

Seifer wasn't. "I'm leaving. You -ugh." And he did start leaving. He ignored the stammering, flustered Nida looking defencelessly up at him from the floor and walked towards the doorway, vaguely considering locking Nida in -

"What the hell were you doing then, Almasy" It was almost a sob, and Seifer immediately felt a pang of guilt as Nida plowed on. "What was all that, then? The - the coming to find me, and the jokes, and the moaning, and the being on top of me? You don't go and start something unless you want to finish it, Almasy, dammit! Dammit"

He looked back at Nida from the doorway. "I didn't start _anything_, faggot." And then the door closed, leaving Nida curled up into a confused and distraught ball on the floor, adding one more thing to his unconcious list of things to angst about, and reasons why he was a failure, and he had _told_ himself, _I told you all along_, because in his mind, he had just failed again. His thoughts tumbled wildly in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

Seifer didn't want him.

He had failed again.

ceasechaptersix

A/N: ...SOB The plot bunny made me write it, I SWEAR! I know, Seifer is odd and confusing and THE BAD ANALOGIES THEY KEEL ME! I wanted to write a slash scene but it kept countering my ideas with newer, more angsty ones that I just CAN'T BLOODY SEEM TO WRITE! ;; And I feel like Nida wants to commit suicide soon or something, but is he stronger than that? I know I wrote possible char death on the thingy but NOT AFTER ONLY SIX CHAPTERS! WAAH!

Maybe I'll start quoting The Matrix, or something.


	7. VII according

A/N: Hey guys, what chapter is this?

...No, seriously. I have no clue what chapter I'm up to while I'm writing this. I do, however, know that I now have three reviewers if I count myself! XD Reviews are awesome. Yes, I review my own fic, which is kind of sad. But .. eh. It works. I dunno. I'll stop before I go off on another tangent. Anyway ... random chapter poll #2 - What fandoms do you write in? Do you listen to music while you write? Do you like writing outdoors, at home, or somewhere else? How odd do you find it that my mother is standing outside of my bedroom door, trying to get my attention by fondling a can of salmon? Slightly odd? Not odd? Very odd? Mental patient odd? I need comments here, people. If I have something to reply to, I have more reason to write besides just random plot bunnying. Haha ... bunnying. Look, I made up a word:Sings: You think you can understand everything well understand this you've got me all wrong and there's no chance to get away, I want to lock myself away so I don't have to breathe the same air as you.

... these just keep getting longer and longer, don't they? oO :Backs away slowly:

commencechaptereight

It must've been a long night. He'd warned them, he really had. Given them the twenty-minute mission prep, a few hours for basic training and a few more for research, and a little green brochure that the lady from the copy shop had given him complementarily last time he made an order of 9000G or more. So they knew. Nida had some semblance of an excuse - he, at least, hadn't really volunteered for this, and was probably still nervous. But Seifer didn't. Seifer knew what was going to happen, he'd done it at least ten times. He knew the drill.

So Headmaster Cid was really _very_puzzled when Seifer and Nida showed up three hours late with bunny slippers and a complete lack of the driving enthusiasm they'd shown the day before.

The Headmaster had waited on the bridge, fifteen minutes early. A _Skylark Armada IV_ had been rented for the trip - a brand new veichle, the size and shape of a mid-size car but equipped with a special controllable gravity-violating coating and a complete set of standard military weapons. Nida was going to have to learn how to operate the navigational panel and the gravity slider, and Seifer would take weapons. They'd have to pass through a challenging obstacle course to traverse to the next town over the mountains, where a diagnostic would be run on the _Skylark_ to check how well they had done. If all went as planned, Nida would acquire his flying license and Seifer could use the level 6 gunblade - Hyperion - on missions.

But plans have this peculiar habit of not always working.

Seifer had arrived first, although nowhere near on-time. He'd changed into uniform and looked ready at first glance, but his eyes got a glassed-over, slightly stoic look whenever the Headmaster had tried to tell him something that took longer than five seconds, and was decidedly not paying attention to anything around him. After a while, Cid had given up talking to him and sat down to wait for Nida, who arrived an hour later, wearing nothing but jeans, a pair of pink rabbit-shaped slippers, and glasses with thick black frames on them. Seifer had completely ignored him, so Cid just sent him back to get a shirt, muttering something about _these kids and their fashion senses_.

Nida came back two minutes later wearing a heavily starched white button-down shirt. He kept throwing sidelong glances at Seifer and looking so dejected that Cid didn't have the heart to tell him off for wearing the bunny slippers.

"So ... um ... well," coughed Cid nervously, not sure where to begin. Seifer and Nida were sitting on opposite ends of the obligatory bench, and at Cid's statement, two pairs of eyes had suddenly tured to give him deadly glares. They seemed to have reached an unspoken agreement to try and unnerve their Headmaster as much as possible.

"Are you both ... erm, ready?"

"Sir." Times two. Both in agreeing tones.

Cid began to get the distinct feeling that something wasn't right - you could've cut the tension with a knife. And then - a random thought. "Er - you do both know that you're going on this training mission - _together_, right?" Two nods. "Together ... as in ... you're going to be in the _Skylark_ at the same time? You were both informed of this, correct?"

The look on Seifer's face showed it all.

"Sir. I'm not sure that's a good idea." He sounded like he was doing his best to avoid pouncing onto the Headmaster and bashing his head into the sleek marble floor.

"Well," began Cid, mustering courage from under Seifer and Nida's fierce glares. "I'm afraid there's nothing I can do about it, Almasy. If there have been problems between you and Mr. Nida, you'd best put them aside at least for now. This isn't just a training mission, it's a test, and an important one at that. Whether or not you can finally become SeeD depends on your grade for this test - and if one of you fails, you _both_ fail."

"That's unfair." Nida looked utterly distraught.

"It's perfectly fair. It's an exercise in _team skills_, which is something every SeeD needs to learn. In fact, it's probably one of the most important things. You'll never be going on a mission alone."

Seifer looked as he was about to disagree, but then stopped himself. "Of course. Why didn't I think of that?" He turned to Nida, smirking an evil little smirk. Nida's expression was shocked but relatively indescripable, like he'd just been struck in the face with a large wet trout. _Oh, holy hell. What's he planning?_

Cid tuned out Nida, shifting his attention to Seifer and looking entirely jovial. "Good!" He then herded Seifer and Nida into the _Skylark Armada IV_ - (understatement) Nida with _slightly_ more apprehension (/understatement) - and handed Seifer two thick instruction manuals. "You're on your own for the rest of it - just follow that, they come with maps, and you'll be fine!"

Nida mouthed the words _help me_ out of the window as Seifer leaned across him to close the door. Cid, however, didn't notice, as he had scurried away to his office. Nida whimpered, and Seifer turned to him. "Oi. Make yourself useful." He pushed one of the booklets onto Nida with a rabid grin.

It was a mark of Nida's intense disquiet that his mind was reeling at about 10,000,000 words per second. _What? Why's he acting like this? First he's disgusted with me, then he's not talking to me, and now he's just mad! The Headmaster here is mad, too - but Seifer's mad, mad, mad. Mad as a hatter. I wish he'd just yell at me or punch me in the nose or **anything**, because this is driving me crazy, and I don't think I can act like nothing ever happened like he can -_

"Hey, hawk. Will you read your fuckin' thing? We can't get going unless you're navigating. I don't know shit about this stuff." Seifer used his own manual to hit Nida abruptly on the side of the arm, and Nida wasn't sure if Seifer was just being regular Seifer - with his compliments disguised as insults disguised as hatred disguised as flattery - or if he sincerely hated him. He took a deep, calming breath and turned to face Seifer.

"Um. The covers of this book are too far apart. I mean - I - I can work without it."

"Yeah?" Seifer's voice sounded unconcerned and he seemed to be preoccupied adjusting his seat - the controls for sliding it down and back were still on the side, and relatively hard to reach if you didn't know where they were.

"Yeah." It was the only safe response.

"Yeah? You must be pretty good then."

Nida's heart leapt up into his throat and riverdanced there. "Yeah."

ceasechaptereight

A/N: I think this chapter was awesome. O The beginning was kind of awkward to write - I tried to flow from one kind of past tense to another, so I'm not sure how well it worked, and I was trying to use a completely different atmosphere for the end. I HATE atmospheres with a passion. It's really odd, because I didn't want this chapter to be too long, but I keep getting feeling that the end needs _something_. I'm writing this note before I edit, so I don't know if you'll get that feeling too.

I feel bitchin' right now. :Goes to write a drabble:


End file.
